Allergy

A flash fiction story by Brian Robinson.

“Good morning Mr Pool. Please take a seat. Would you like to tell me a bit about your symptoms.”

“Over the past few years I seem to have become more and more allergic. My nose gets clogged up; my eyes are gritty; and I’m continually clearing my throat.”

“Those all sound like common allergic reactions. If you’d just like to bear one arm for me we’ll get some tests done. I’m going to place a range of substances on your forearm and we’ll see what happens.

While we’re waiting, can I have your other arm so I can take some blood samples. I’ll get those off to the lab straight away and we should hear back pretty soon.

Goodness! We are getting a reaction aren’t we. Let’s see, you seem to be allergic to: milk, pollen, gluten, eggs, meat, fish, insects, pets, and, well, everything else we’ve tested for. That’s most unusual.

We’ll try a few other things. It may be that you’re allergic to certain elements. There we go. We’ll just give that a few seconds.

Oh Blimey! You’re allergic to oxygen, water, carbon and most of the benign elements.

Okay, here’s your blood report. Let me see. Hmmm.”

“What does it say.”

“Your blood seems to be reacting in a surprising way. The lab technicians have never seen this before. They’re saying there must be some mistake. Your blood must be contaminated.”

“So what’s the diagnosis Doctor?”

“In a nutshell Mr Pool, it looks like you’re allergic to life and the world.”

“Is there a treatment for that? Is there a pill I can take?”

“The only sure-fire treatment I know for that is death. And that’s a pill we’ll all have to swallow.”